By Judith E. Lipson, M.A., LPC
A time to build up, a time to break down
A time to dance, a time to mourn
A time to cast away stones, a time to gather stones together
(From ‘Turn! Turn! Turn!’ by The Birds)
When I look back at 2020, I primarily see the breaking-down aspect that is stated in this lyric. Breaking down reminds us of destruction, which is defined as: the action or process of causing so much damage to something that it no longer exists or cannot be repaired. Though that feels like a really bad thing, and like you, I often felt overwhelmed or distraught during 2020, I realize that the process can have very positive outcomes. We are dismantling the previous paradigms in order to determine what aspects should stay, what should go, and what should change dramatically. I am actually quite thankful for the dismantling of so many of our systems and beliefs, though it was challenging to observe and live through.
2021 has arrived, and now it’s time to build up! It’s human nature to long for the continuation of what was and wait for (or force) its return. I urge you instead to take some calming breaths and think back to the months and years before 2020 when you actually may have longed for some type of change for yourself, for our country, or for the global collective. I encourage you in the upcoming months to look at aspects of your own life and of our global society to determine what practices and beliefs have become outdated, stale, or are now recognized as wrong. Is it time for you to create something?
This may seem like it requires great courage. I believe you have that courage to begin the creation of what you have always sought. Think back to previous events when great change occurred, particularly when it wasn’t originally your idea – this might be a break-up, a job change (or loss), or a move. Whatever that situation, remember how frightened, ungrounded, and lost you likely felt. Then weeks or months later it’s not uncommon to be able to look back on that original event and recognize the silver-lining that resulted.
I believe we are in the midst of one of these situations. All around us we can see the breakdown of our institutions. And that can feel really scary, especially when we don’t know when the process will end, or how it will look.
Besides watching systems change so significantly, it’s all happening during a pandemic. The novel coronavirus, COVID-19, is affecting many people in new ways. New information comes to light, the vaccines are becoming available, but the distribution moves slower than most individuals would prefer. You may find yourself wondering things like: How will this new information affect me? How long will these recommendations last? When and how will my activities alter? When will this end? Will this end? Will my life ever return to normal?
Here we are in unprecedented territory! We are uncertain of what is to come, how it will affect us, and how to navigate the entirety of it. I want to encourage each of you to focus on a few concepts as we approach these “unprecedented” significant changes. Let’s start by drawing our awareness to the complexity of the term. The definition of unprecedented is never done or known before. It relates to all the things happening to us and around us. Since it has never occurred before, I don’t think it is reasonable to assume that there is a distinct roadmap to get through it. I don’t bring this up to frighten, but rather to open your awareness to realizing that your roadmap won’t be found by looking backward.
Here are some considerations as you look within and forward:
PATIENCE
Strive to be patient with the process. Focus on being in the present as much as possible. It’s good to see the goals of what we seek and hope for, but don’t get too ahead of yourself. You don’t want to pinch off or stifle opportunities, and you don’t want to freak yourself out focusing on the unknown of what is to come. Stay in the now.
RECOGNIZE IMPERMANENCE
Remind yourself that even though it is this way now, it doesn’t mean it will remain like this. Your emotions can change, the situation can change, the information can change. Things are delightfully impermanent, and this is especially helpful when you’re not thrilled with the current feelings or events. This three-minute video by Dr. Lynn Lyons shares specific questions to consider if you feel stuck. This is especially important for kids and teens who have less life experience and thus a narrower perspective, and this is also a great strategy for adults.
CREATE
Create what you desire with as much clarity as you can. Include as many of your senses as possible. Focus on what you hope to see as the end result, and in doing so there is more potential for helping to move it to that outcome. You might make a vision board (pictures and words that represent what you want), journal your narrative, sketch the vision, or dance or write the score for what you desire. Be imaginative and let your creativity flow. Try not to lock in your vision, so you can allow for this, or something better.
COURAGE
An interesting aspect that I recently realized about our current experience is that, as stated earlier, we are all facing this unprecedented event. As Dr. Emily Morse reminds us: this isn’t a YOU problem, it’s an EVERYONE problem. As we experience and create something new, and I mean really new, we are for the first time doing so without the benefit of others who can show us the way. Even as adults we have typically had others to show us how – how to play that sport, how to drive the car, how to do this job assignment, etc. We’ve always had direction or training. In our current situation we have multiple professionals, leaders, medical personnel and scientists to inform and work on the big issues, but we still generally have no one to show us how to navigate all of this unknown territory. If you are still feeling lost and afraid, return to the previous concepts. Be patient. Empower yourself by starting to create what you want. Stay in the present. Identify what you know, right now, and include all those things for which you are grateful.
TRUST
Trust the process. Sometimes that means recognizing that you cannot think your way through solutions. I recently realized that sometimes it is better to not try to think my way to resolution or understanding. I am learning to accept the space that I am currently in, allow for all possibilities, and then I find that I often gently and naturally slide toward the solution. A client described it as ‘from the heart’ and went on to state that this then leads to flexibility, malleability, and nimbleness, as opposed to a rigid response with unmoving expectations. For those of you who prefer sports analogies – in skiing and other sports, you are taught to let go and fall into the fall because if you are rigid while falling, there’s a stronger likelihood of being hurt. Open your whole self to finding (allowing for) the answer instead of narrowing your expectancy to only a mental solution.
CREATION
Though you and I, and the collective, are still in the breaking-down phase, we are simultaneously in the phase of creation. Guide, facilitate, and affirm your outcome. State your intention with surrender and trust. You and I are intending the womb of humanity. As the song, Turn! Turn! Turn! by The Birds says:
To everything (turn, turn, turn)
There is a season (turn, turn, turn)
And a time to every purpose, under heaven
A time to be born, a time to die
A time to plant, a time to reap
A time to kill, a time to heal
A time to laugh, a time to weep
To everything (turn, turn, turn)
There is a season (turn, turn, turn)
And a time to every purpose, under heaven
A time to build up, a time to break down
A time to dance, a time to mourn
A time to cast away stones, a time to gather stones together
To everything (turn, turn, turn)
There is a season (turn, turn, turn)
And a time to every purpose, under heaven
A time of love, a time of hate
A time of war, a time of peace
A time you may embrace, a time to refrain from embracing
To everything (turn, turn, turn)
There is a season (turn, turn, turn)
And a time to every purpose, under heaven
A time to gain, a time to lose
A time to rend, a time to sew
A time for love, a time for hate
A time for peace, I swear it’s not too late
Join me in embracing the possibilities. Nurture them and create anew. Namasté
Judy Lipson is a Licensed Professional Counselor and educational strategist in West Bloomfield, MI. She helps clients of all ages who have learning difficulties, work or school related anxiety, ADHD, Asperger’s Syndrome or Autism Spectrum Disorders, and those who wish to Remember and Become ‘Who You Really Are’. Contact Judy at 248.568.8665 and judylipson@spiralwisdom.net, and visit www.JudyLipson.com for more information.
This article is for informational purposes and is not meant to replace medical care.
