By Judith E. Lipson, M.A., LPC
Individuals with highly sensitive nervous systems can become so emotionally and physically overwhelmed that they can’t participate in activities, even the ones that they would have otherwise enjoyed.
I am frequently asked how to help a super-sensory, highly sensitive student stay in class, or even to consistently attend school.
The first step is helping their educational staff, family, and potential employers to understand the challenges that these individuals’ nervous systems experience because of the constant bombardment to their five senses, and their own and others’ emotions. I write about this frequently in my monthly newsletters and have several articles devoted to this concept. If you are unfamiliar, I encourage you to read Neurosensitives and Sensory Overload and Mentoring and Parenting Sensitives.
It is only when we have a better understanding of the individual that we can relate to their experiences sufficiently to make the most appropriate adjustments to help them to have fewer reactive responses, and to appreciate and accept their need to step away.
Recently I was asked to attend a school meeting on behalf of a student. I have jotted down some generalizations that you might be able to use on behalf of your student. These concepts can also apply to a college student or an adult at work. Use these ideas and personalize them to your specific situation/individual.
We are talking about their nervous system’s response to its environment. Their behaviors are not personal or willful.
- We want to minimize their nervous system’s identification of cues of danger. Incidentally, we are all wired to see the world through what is called negative bias where we see danger when there really is no bear. This tendency is intensified in a super-sensory or someone who has experienced trauma.
- A good resource to help you to walk a mile in their shoes comes from a writer who explains how having a chronic illness is like starting each day with a specific number of spoons. The kids and adults that I work with resonate with this concept and often use it to explain their situation to others. They can now verbalize in a concrete way to others, “I only have 4 spoons left. I need _______.”
- Maximize their cues of safety to help them calm their nervous systems in real time:
- They (their nervous systems) need to experience that school can feel safe. This often requires a reduced schedule for a period of time (so that their nervous system doesn’t overwhelm); and/or a quiet, cozy, safe place for them to be in the building.
- Allow and encourage the student to determine when they can return to a class(es) and continue to provide access to the safe place.
- The safe place is typically quiet, dimly lit and often small. Fidgets and other sensory objects are helpful. Some individuals like to have weighted blankets available. Take the time to find out what helps them to feel safest and calmest.
- Individuals who interact with the individual can help the situation and the individual by slowing their own movements and voice, speaking softly, using an inviting tone, and breathing calmly.
- Consider reflecting the student’s experiences so that they feel seen. (i.e.: I can see that not knowing what I was asking became very overwhelming to you, and that was more difficult after the sudden noise that we just unexpectedly experienced. I recognize that you really want to have quiet time to be able to feel calm again.)
- Assure them that no change will take place until they are ready. (If their nervous system is in crisis, this is not the time to “push” them toward growth.)
- Find out who on staff their nervous system has identified as “safe”. Whenever possible these individuals should be the ones who address them when they need to calm, as well as when shifts toward more engagement are being requested.
It’s not uncommon for behaviors, tolerance, and the willingness to stay engaged to change very rapidly (that 0-10 concept). Highly sensitive individuals with highly reactive nervous systems are being bombarded with constant input and are tolerating as well as they can. Truthfully, they are doing an awesome job…until they can’t! As we understand their situation and help them to address difficulties even before they happen, they can tolerate more and require fewer and shorter breaks from the activities. This translates to more time engaged and present.
Judy Lipson is a Licensed Professional Counselor and educational strategist in West Bloomfield, MI. She helps clients of all ages who have learning difficulties, work or school related anxiety, ADHD, Asperger’s Syndrome or Autism Spectrum Disorders, and those who wish to Remember and Become ‘Who You Really Are’. Contact Judy at 248.568.8665 and judylipson@spiralwisdom.net, and visit www.JudyLipson.com for more information.
This article is for informational purposes and is not meant to replace medical care.
