By Judith E. Lipson, M.A., LPC
You probably don’t remember, but when you were born you were authentic and you remembered Who You Really Are as well as your plan for this lifetime. But as is so common, you forgot much of that and now I, your Highest Wisdom, have noticed that you are trying to hold on to Who You Really Are, while you are also trying to fit in. The reason that I’m talking to you today is because I noticed that you don’t think that you can be your real self and be like others.
You may be thinking that to be liked by others you need to be just like them. Are you finding that really hard? Adults and even kids say that you should be your own individual, be your own person. Yet they also tell you to be just like them. How confusing. You wonder, “Am I supposed to be like all the others? Does that mean that I can’t be Who I Really Am?” And then you feel even more lost and confused.
To make things more complicated, you might recognize yourself as really different. There is a reason for this. This is so you can bring unique ideas to your family, to your community, or to the world.
I can tell that you want very much for others to like you, and to feel part of the group. But you may also be worried that if you are seen as part of the group that you will seem like them, and then you will lose that special aspect of who you are, as well as the real purpose of why you’re here.
I don’t mean that you’re special in a bragging kind of way, but special in an important way. And when that’s true, it is what it is, and you are who you are, and actually that’s just perfect!
You may also be afraid that, to stay special and to not be like the others, you will have to be alone, and you are afraid of feeling lonely. The good news is that you can be part of your peer group and not lose yourself. I bet you’ve seen others who seem really confident, and must be “part of the group”. You might be surprised to know that many of these people accept that they are different, stay unique, and keep their head held high while in the midst of others. You can do it too!
You can be Who You Really Are and also fit in. So let’s brainstorm. Identify what you like and what you know how to do that is similar to the others, so you can mingle comfortably without trying to be, or pretending to be, completely like them. If you try to be exactly like them, then you’ll feel like you lose yourself and it’s important that you be Who You Really Are.
You might want to talk to your parent, your teacher, a counselor, or someone else whom you trust to learn more about how to be similar to them and also very much yourself. They can help you find what you have in common with others, and how to talk to them. And don’t forget about me, your Highest Wisdom.
Remember, when you are being honest with yourself and others, you will make yourself happy. And when you share your Real self with one or more people who you trust, you feel Real. Hold your head high and stand proudly! And always remember to be Who You Really Are.
Call me anytime; I’m always available.
Love,
Me – Your Highest Wisdom
Judy Lipson is a Licensed Professional Counselor and educational strategist in West Bloomfield, MI. She helps clients of all ages who have learning difficulties; work or school related anxiety; ADHD; Asperger’s Syndrome or Autism Spectrum Disorders; and those who wish to Remember and Become ‘Who You Really Are’. Contact Judy at 248.568.8665 and judylipson@spiralwisdom.net, and visit www. SpiralWisdom.net for more information.
This article is for informational purposes and is not meant to replace medical care.
